The Quest to My Big O

NATIONAL ORGASM DAY | MASTURBATION | CONFESSIONS

I just needed a man to make me feel comfortable with my body. I was thirty-five when Giovanni made me experience my first of many orgasms.

My journey began long ago, but I never knew if I would be successful or not.

I was twenty when I had my first intercourse. Real sex. A nice, thick cock inside my vagina — and now that I think about it, it was probably too thick for the first time.

It felt good.

But despite my always-present sexual appetite, my horniness and my need for cock… I just couldn’t cum. My boyfriend would fuck me for ten or twenty minutes, without really caring about what I needed.

Everything was new to me… his cock stretching my pussy, rubbing my insides… Oh, God, if it felt good!

But no Big O.

I thought it was normal… I thought that was the extent of my pleasure. Even when I met my future husband, I thought it was natural. We made love every day. Then once a week. Then once a month.

Natural, yes. And yet it felt frustrating. In terms of quantity and quality.

Slowly, I realized I was part of the problem. A huge part. I never felt at ease with my body. Small tits, freckles everywhere, and my Asian blood giving my redhead with green eyes appearance a strange mixed-race Irish feeling.

The boys made fun of me. Men made fun of me afterwards. But hubby… well, he loved me for what I was.

I had to learn how to love myself, too. I began studying everything I could about psychology… and sex, and orgasms. I bought toys, I began experimenting with them.

Again, there was an extreme pleasure but… no uncontrollable spasms of my muscles, no mind going blank, no sense of extreme relief and satisfaction that was described in every article I read.

As much as I loved my husband he couldn’t help me with this. For him, sex was inserting his cock in my pussy and filling it with semen. I stopped trying to ask for anything else — even just cuddles — after some time.

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